Monday, June 30, 2014

My Shell.

Hi there!

Still no cell phone. It's been 3 weeks already. Whew, time is flying!

The other day, a friend of mine posted a picture on Instagram with the quote "Do not let your soul be defined by its shell." That quote has been in the back of my mind ever since I read it.

For the past 18 months or so, I would try to "eat clean" on and off. Sometimes I'd just tell myself I wouldn't eat bread, cheese, or sugar. Other times, I would restrict myself from those items plus try to cut out all meat. I would inevitably blow it in a few days (well, duh), and would feel intense guilt and shame for eating "non-clean" foods, afraid I would gain an extra pound or two.

I don't believe that God intended for us to ever feel guilt while eating, or to scrutinize our food intake. In fact, calorie tracking and diet trends can become such an obsession that it becomes a stronghold in our lives. Also, not only our we obsessing over grams of protein and fat, we become obsessed with ourselves. "I can't believe I just ate that. That makes me feel like such a pig. I'm so worried about how I'm going to look in my bathing suit this weekend. I'm ashamed of myself." Yes, even insecurity is a form of self-absorption, and it's really easy to fall into this trap.

When I was training for my half marathon at the beginning of the year, I didn't try to "eat clean". I was doing so much cardio, I was afraid to try to set any limits or restrictions to what I was eating. And you know what? I felt great. Even though a 10 mile run can feel like absolute torture while actually out on the track, I always felt my best afterwards. The night after a long run, I wasn't giving myself a guilt trip over the pizza I ate the day before. I was feeling thankful for my body that was running faster and farther than ever before!

Recently, I've decided to stop trying to eat "clean" or "paleo" or "auto-immune paleo" or "low carb" or really, any diet at all. It has felt freeing, like a weight off of my shoulders. I am not going out of my way to eat unhealthy, I am just eating what I want--and I've started a running club at my work! I tend to not eat too much processed foods anyway (except for cheese. I could eat cheese all. day. long.). I'm also slowly making my way through the candy that is still in my Easter basket--I might actually finish my Easter basket for the first time in years!

I think the idea of having a "shell" to our soul is what makes makeup and fashion so much fun. Both of these things allow us to express our ingrained personalities, or even just an emotion we're feeling that day. Sassy, bright, demure, wild, modest, dark, bohemian, fierce, romantic--we get to choose how to reflect who we really are on the inside, and the best part is it can change day-to-day! I guarantee that my leopard print anything paired with a swipe of red lipstick tells you more about my character than a little extra flab on my arms ever will. ;)

Anyways, this is just a little bit of what's been on my mind lately. Thank you so much for reading!

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